We’re all storytellers. Some of us realize this fact before others, while a few fail to acknowledge this reality ever. We tell ourselves a story about who we think we’re meant to be versus who we’ve really become. We tell stories about how we think we were, full of bravado and beauty, when, in reality, we were more likely to be retiring and nondescript.
We tell ourselves that we’re either more or less than our real versions because we’re so rarely satisfied with what peers back from the mirror. On occasion, we indulge in honest introspection, but quickly hide away the results of our investigation, believing that since no one else is aware, we’re safe from discovery.
Throughout the stories we tell, we forget one thing: the only audience that truly matters is the internal one that knows the difference between fact and fiction. We believe we’re telling stories for the sake of those around us—parents, spouses, bosses, friends, children. However, if we’re doing the storytelling for others, why do we so often end up with plots that hurt the ones around us?
Two signature perspectives make up a common worldview: fate and self-determination. For the fateful person, life has already been determined and scripted. Fateful storytellers find themselves telling incredibly fanciful tales, full of the possibilities they believe life has denied them.
For the self-determined individual, anything is possible. Their stories are filled with extremes, both good and bad, because they can overcome anything or rise to the occasion as life demands. Between these two extremes lies the reality of wanting to effect a certain result, but realizing that many uncontrollable things will impact the outcome.
I focus on the story because it’s the tool we use in our pursuit of life. Politicians tell you a story about how life will be better if you vote for them. Marketers tell you a story about how life will be better if you buy their product. Parents tell you a story about how life will be better if you do what they say. Such stories often get described as “the truth” or “for your own good.” One must not forget that stories come with strings and expectations that may not fit our personal script. One must also not forgot that there’s pieces of truth to value in each story.
Every day, you’ll tell yourself a story that includes parts of other people’s stories. The trick is to remember that it’s just a story, and tomorrow there will be another one to take its place.
