Expectations are tricky things. They invite optimism, giving you something to look forward to. On the flip side, they can lead to disappointment and foster cynicism. When we’re dealing with our expectations for people, the extremes are perhaps the greatest. People have the potential to stun us, for both good and bad.
In my case, I think that’s why I’m hesitant to meet new people. While I’ve met many wonderful people, I’ve met as many, if not more, who’ve failed to meet my expectations. How we chose to handle the results of our expectations says something about who we are, too. If I swore to never meet anyone new again, I’ve allowed my dashed hopes to carry too much weight. If I entered every situation with the goal of having a perfect experience, it’s a level few if any can achieve.
At this point, I turn to pragmatism, one of the unsexiest ways to view the world. While I hope the people I meet will also meet my expectations, I’m also pragmatic enough to recognize that not everyone will. Maybe this statement is too obvious, but I think it’s one we still overlook.
In politics, for instance, I wish there was a Pragmatic party, one that didn’t identify as liberal or conservative. The goal of this party’s members is to reach the best decision given the current information and situation on hand. Take the current debate over health insurance. We know millions of people don’t have insurance. One side argues that a single payer system is the only solution. The other side argues that the market takes care of itself. Both sides can make the case that their opponent’s solution has weaknesses. Thus, the need for pragmatism.
Adopting extreme positions for the sake of being extreme accomplishes nothing of value. Did the three men who shot down a doctor, a security guard, and a military recruit accomplish anything other than the fulfillment of their sick objectives?
We’re watching firsthand how people respond to extremes in Iran. Imagine what Iran would look like if a run-off election was the original result of last week’s election. I doubt that protests would have reached current levels because it was a more realistic expectation that they’re would be a run-off between the current president and another candidate versus a blow out.
Managing expectations is an underrated skill that will only increase in value as we try to manuever through a life filled with ever more expectations. Whether it’s people or the latest gizmo, we’re fools if we fail to understand the role and power of expectations, for better or for worse.
